Showing posts from August, 2008

What Makes Relationships Work? Differentiation.

The concept of differentiation in everyday terminology would be defined by a person's ability to stand on their own two feet, especially when with the people that they are closest too. The word represents an ability to balance the needs and desires we all have as individuals with the needs and desires we have to be close to others. Our freewill and independence often comes into direct conflict with our desire to be attached to another. If we are too independent or focused on our own desires, wants and needs, we can come off as tyrants, over controlling, insensitive and self centered. If we never stand up for what we want or believe in and we most often give into the desires of our friends, family and loved ones, we come off as weak, easily controlled and spineless. It's the balance that allows us the freedom to express who we are and take into account how we come off and take care of our relationships. The four point that help us become more differentiated are: #1) Having